bye-bye perth.

Sitting at the airport, back where I arrived 205 days ago, 6 months and 22 days ago, and since you can find anything online (thanks timeanddate.com), it calculates to 17,625,600 seconds, 293,760 minutes, 4896 hours, 29 weeks. It feels staggeringly preposterous (!) to have packed up my entire belongings into my one backpack (ok girls, this is not just a week-long holiday - this is my "life"), walked out of my room abandoned clean and bare (even took my bags of sea salt and bay leaves), and left the keys to the flat on the kitchen counter as I closed the door behind me (koala keychain in my pocket). I've got another 13 days (1,123,200 seconds, 18,720 minutes, 312 hours) of holiday to look forward to with mum before I'm forced to start again in a new place, find a new job, make new friends - I can only hope for something better than the life I made for myself in Perth. Sure, it wasn't perfect, but there's something about Perth that I'll always hold dear. Maybe for it being the first place I moved to live completely by myself. Maybe for the friends I met there. Maybe for all the ridiculous laughter it will remind me of. Maybe for the weather it constitutes as winter. However, I needed to get out but my part-time job wasn't paying enough for me to save enough to leave and I just didn't like my new full-time job enough to continue it. So, even though mum says she came to visit because she was worried about me since my spider-bite incident, I think she really came here to rescue me and take me out of Perth. As it turned out, it was perfect timing: she arrived the same day my BFF of 46 days (1 month 16 days) Ted left. The time on the visa is depreciating every day and the new year is ringing in substantial Ryan-family events I am not sure I want to or can miss, so instead of sitting around wondering what I'm doing in Perth and justifying it, it's time is up and it's time to see the rest of Australia.

I'd rather go to that contemplative place my mind wanders to when I stress-pick my split ends (I blame the free hair cut entirely) rather than have to deal with reality right now. I'm not good with goodbye's, but I know whatever is next will work its self out. What's just another phase in this Australian adventure?!

As I turned my head to get one last glimpse of Perth's skyline in the distance behind me, Rod Stewart came on in the taxi radio. A perfect goodbye. bye-bye Perth.

I told her tea bags were just a convenience for people with busy lives and she said no one is so busy they can’t take time to make a decent cup of tea and if you are that busy you don’t deserve a decent cup of tea for what is it all about anyway? Are we put into this world to be busy or to chat over a nice cup of tea?

‘TIS, FRANK MCCOURT

word of the day: excogitate

this is what perth looks like in the pouring rain from kings park

Looking up there's always sky
Rest your head I'll take you high...

 Hold my hand, just in case...

This world can seem cold and gray
But you and I are here today
And we won't fade into darkness...

avicii

Goodbyes are not forever.

Goodbyes are not the end.

They simply mean I'll miss you

Until we meet again!

~Author Unknown

A Day at the Dunes.

Another touristy day. Another place to cross off on the been-there done-that list of Western Australia. This day's off excursion required a bit more effort to get to than some of the sites around Perth. The small fishing town of Lancelin, known for its sand dunes, is located about an hour and a half north of Perth along the coast. I'm not really sure why these two kilometres of sand dunes have been left untouched; they look like they appear out of nowhere according to Google Earth, but they offer tremendous amount of fun for anyone who has a motor bike, a 4WD, a dune buggy, a board, or even a box. At first, we didn't have any of the aforementioned, but we took our shoes off and climbed up the path dug into the sand dune by previous visitors. Huffing and puffing, more likely! Falling over in a heap of laughter at the ridiculousness only proved to be a brief excuse for a break. I could tell immediately I wouldn't be sliding down too many times to have to make the trek back up again.

There are some quite amusing Profile Pic-worthy photos of me climbing up the sand-cascading 45 degree hill, but luckily, they have been temporarily "captured' within an old phone which has since changed service providers.

Looking up

Looking down

When we reached the top and caught our breath, we had surrounding views of the afternoon gleaming upon the Indian Ocean in front of us ....

....and the criss-crossed tire tracks painting endless paths of adventure across the sand dunes behind us. 

The sand was flour-y soft yet surprisingly cold. It was "nice" to enjoy the view of the slowing dipping sun, but it was can we say, to no offence to each other, a bit boring. We watched the other motors rage across the sand leaving billows of dust in their wake and families and visitors of all ages scream as they slid and tumbled down the dunes. We longed to borrow a board, just for the sneer of it, as we couldn't very well justify traveling all that way not to experience Lancelin to it's fullest. And we knew very well that despite what we might say, that we most likely would not be back here again. 

After all, Google Images promised us this: 

...and this...

(Actually, there was a guy who would do a running front-flip feet-first onto his board, which usually ended up with him on his face, still on the top of the sand dune, board slowly slithering down without him.)

But instead, without any board, we got this:

Bahahahhahah

The cheapest, most innocent fun, ever. 

Ok, it got better with a board:

Looking back on it, there really should have been no question as to whether or not we should rent a board. Luckily, we decided to drive back into town and take advantage of our Lancelin trip before the winter sun and it's daytime warmth left for the night. Unfortunately, there were no rental boards to be found in the small town, so Ted decided it was worth it to buy one. I'm not sure if buying a board was the best investment, but it definitely made the day.

LOOK AT THAT FALL!!!! i mean, wait for it. wait for it. LOOK AT THAT SPEED!

Even though it may have seemed boring at first, with a rating only slightly higher than the aquarium, after we got a board, the rating rose to receive such reviews as "would come again," and "would definitely recommend it to my friends." So, if you do end up at the sand dunes in Lancelin, don't forget a board (I'm not sure how those ambitious youngsters with cardboard boxes and plastic bags panned out) and don't forget that you will, most definitely, have sand absolutely everywhere. And you will still find it most likely after you shower and even the next day. I said everywhere, right? 

‎"When you stop doing things for fun, you might as well be dead" - Hemingway

A visit to Kings Park

One of the touristy things I've been meaning to do in Perth, and I'm not sure why I put it off - maybe waiting for a weather-perfect day, maybe waiting for my camera to get fixed, maybe waiting for a friend to go with me, maybe not sure how to get there, or maybe not wanting to cross off the last of things to see and do in Perth - is to go to Kings Park. In particular, I wanted to go on the Federation Walkway, a raised boardwalk which brings you through the trees with views of the Swan River.

So, on a sunny day when I didn't have work until half six that night, Ted and I set off to Perth's biggest park - bigger than Central Park in fact. Located west of the city, the views of downtown Perth were quite spectacular. It was a lovely stroll for a winter's day, warm in the sun and cool in the shade, and the park was full of families, couples, kids, weddings, engagement photos, joggers, and florescent-clad youngsters on a drunken treasure hunt or something. Like the Aquarium, there were different areas of the botanical gardens that grew native flora from various places around Western Australia. 

south of perth

 We walked until we found the Federation Walkway, which was smaller, but a bit similar to the Valley of the Giants in Albany - high above the ground and slightly shaking under your feet.

the walkway

 We sat in the "reflection area" which actually was quite peaceful, filled with inspirational quotes, and I could imagine myself going back there to enjoy the view, contemplate life in Australia, or just bring a book.

Downtown Perth 

war memorial

I really like Kings Park. I'm sure there is a lot more of it to see - the list won't be completely checked off yet!! Can't wait for mum to come visit :)

“So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.” 
― John Keating

A ride on the Sky Ride Ferris Wheel in Freo

Another touristy day. Even though there were cloudless blue skies, we didn't have access to a car, so I planned it around Perth essentials. My friend, let's call him Ted, had never been to Freemantle and had never even heard of the Swan Bells, despite having lived in Perth for a couple months (but to be fair, he travels for work). So we wandered around the quiet streets of Freo, ate kangaroo at Little Creatures Brewery, and then we did yet again, something I would normally not choose to pay to do. A ride on the  Sky Ride Ferris Wheel.

"Let's just check out the prices," he said as he walked up to the counter. "Two tickets please."
"Are you serious?" - me, laughing at the ridiculousness.

And yet again, another price list oddity: 1 person $12, 2 adults $20. Why, oh why, would anyone want to go on this ride alone??

 There were only two other people on the ride: a father and his young son. I suppose that's pretty standard for a Monday afternoon, if anyone were to ride it at all!

 Up and around we went. It went around twice before we stopped at the top to check out the views of Fremantle harbour, the city, and the ocean. It wasn't the best view ever, but pleasant enough.

  Then we went up and around again. And again.  And again. I suppose we got our money's worth, but even the guy managing the operational machine was laughing at us as we went around again.

Always being nosey on Facebook....check out the view Ted!

Then to the only real touristy sight of Perth, the Swan Bell Towers. 

Nice views of Perth. It's a pretty city :)

A trip to the Aquarium of Western Australia

It's hard to be touristy in Perth. The "sights" section in my Let's Go Australia book is just a page. One of the recommended sights is a visit to the Aquarium of Western Australia. Another suggestion is to the Perth Zoo. Now, no offence to the animals of the world, especially to the ones in Western Australia, but  these are two places I would normally opt out of paying to go see. An aquarium is an aquarium and a zoo is a zoo, no matter where you are, right? There's something unappealing about contained animals. But, I had a friend who wanted to be touristy with me as we take advantage of our dwindling days left in Perth. We had optimistic expectations for the day off work and access to a car - go see the protruding rocks at the Pinnacles, go sand surfing off the dunes in Lancelin, go visit the infamous Wave Rock - but even though I should blame it on laziness, I'll blame the forlorn weather forecast for the day's divergence. He actually wanted to go to the Aquarium and I was easily convinced as I knew this opportunity would never present itself to me again. 

The Aquarium of Western Australia is actually about 30 minutes outside of the city, north along the coast in Hilary's Harbour. It didn't seem so convenient for a tourist destination. An even queerer oddity was the price list. An adult entry is $29, but if you buy a pass, the second and third visits are only $20 and the fourth visit is free!* Why, oh why, anyone would want to go to the aquarium four times baffles me. The only, ONLY, justification I could come up with is if someone was a serial dater and took 3 different girls on a date to the aquarium and then really wanted to impress the fourth girl by saying, "I've got an in at the Aquarium, we don't have to pay to get in." And that's not even a good or even plausible reason. 

* that's a sarcastically enthusiastic "!"

The best part of the Aquarium is the revolving walk way that goes through an underwater tunnel. 

 Western Australian fish, sharks, and turtles swim up close, above, and around you.

 I must say I was quite impressed with this feature.

 The aquarium brought us around the 12,000 kilometres of Western Australia's coast showcasing and highlighting the different marine life that live in the southern ocean, around Perth and all the way up north.

 Of course there were dangerous animals.

I think we rated the Aquarium of Western Australia a 6 or 7 out of 10. It was fun to do something different, to cross it off the list of things to see and do in Perth, but it is definitely a once in a lifetime trip - definitely not worth 3 more visits to get a free entry!!  It would have earned a higher mark if there were penguins *love* but I suppose it would be mean to take them away from their neighbouring home of Penguin Island - another sight already checked off - although I would be willing to go back there, if there was a guaranteed penguin-sighting opportunity. 

I love getting mail :)

"Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together?  I guess that wouldn't work.  Someone would leave.  Someone always leaves.  Then we would have to say good-bye.  I hate good-byes.  I know what I need.  I need more hellos."  ~Charles M. Schulz

Q: Do they have Fourth of July in Australia?
A: Yes, they also have a 2nd and 3rd of July and tomorrow is the 5th.

from http://tumblr.heyamberrae.com/

Australian Spider Bite: A Trip to Royal Perth Hospital

I am pretty sure every post I wrote about my experience at the winery in Frankland River mentioned some sort of creature. I am pretty sure every day at Frankland River I saw or heard a least a mouse, rat, hunts man spider, red back spider, translucent white spider, giant moth, maggot, snake, sheep, or emu either in and/or around the house, the winery, or the vineyard. I am pretty sure every night I dreamt about spiders while at Frankland River. Nope, wait, I'm positive it was every night. Once I moved to Perth, I didn't have to write about these country creatures. I never saw them. I never thought about them. I didn't look up at the ceiling every time I walked into a room or shook out and stomped on my shoes before I put them on.  I dreamt about spiders maybe once. But of course, it is when I am in Perth away from the rural country fears and instead living the city life with its own sets of urban fears, that I get bitten by a poisonous spider. In my own bed. 

So, here is the story of what happened, written in the 3rd person b/c I can hardly think about it without cringing:

She described her first Australian winter as a tropical cyclone meets a balmy Irish summer. The rain was louder than the rain in Donegal which had reminded her of giant Connect-Four pieces falling from the sky. The wind was still intense in Perth, but there were more buildings for it to swirl around than the roaring wind in Donegal that reminded her of being Dorothy waiting for her house to blow away. Yet, just like Donegal, the rain still poured down voraciously while blue skies were shining.


On a day off from work, the seasonal rain woke her up with the sun sneaking through the blinds. She curled the covers up around her, happy at the prospect of an entire day off with nothing impending to do. At some point during the morning - it was quite early despite having the day off to sleep in, but all thanks to the noisy weather - she noticed a swollen bump on her wrist. Odd, she thought as she poked and squeezed it a bit as a habitual picker does, but didn't think anything of it. Soon, the swelling forced her to take her watch off. Liquid no longer oozed out of it when she poked at it, but instead, it looked like it had drained itself and was just a shallow, hollow hole. Like a crater. Directly opposite on her wrist, the swelling scab had become bigger than the wrist bone. Cankles of the wrist! The rain was continuously coming down even heavier. She had chills that layers of clothes and the covers of bed couldn't warm up, but were just blamed on the Australian winter weather. She was beyond exhausted by 6 o'clock but that was blamed on a long week of work and waking up so randomly early. From just lying in bed, any movement or touch to the wrist made it feel as though it were fractured, like the very first time she played on the futbol team in London, was tripped, fell on her wrist, and out for the rest of the season.


Her father called to thank her for his father's day gift he received in the mail. "Are you sleeping?" He asked skeptically, looking at the time as he worked out the time difference. "No, but I am in bed and completely exhausted," she muttered and described what she thought must be a spider bite on her wrist. Phone calls with her family always make her day, but this particular call made her feel even further away, aching for some sympathy and care. It was taxing enough to barely muster up the energy to type a one-handed reply to an email to mum. Later, she called, as mum's do, and anxiously insisted that she go to the hospital. Despite the pouring rain, the cold weather, the late night hour, the lack of shower or make up from lying in bed all day, the unwillingness to have to face unaffordable medical fees, and the fear of having been told that the pain could be solved with just some Tylenol made the idea of going to the hospital unappealing, but she knew that not only was the pain too much, but the severity of her mother's tone gave her no other choice. She was right, as mum's always are, and the daughter was grateful. 

lucky for you the iPod has crappy photo abilities

Sheepishly opening the door to face her flatmate, he announced "good morning sunshine." She felt like shit. She looked like shit. Rubbing her eyes as she held out her shaking arm, she begged his Australian experience to examine it and confirm it was after all a spider bite. He was so appalled at the swollen wrist and the pain she had in her almost-in-tears face, that he offered to take her to the emergency room, but only after taking a picture of the infectious bite with his iPhone. The uncharged phone, the wi fi device and the iPod were thrown into a bag, while a book on the floor was left behind, and she left the flat wearing the oddest combination of layered clothes that refused to warm her. It was the first time she had moved all day and the quiver of energy she had made her feel as though she would lose her balance and fall down the stairs of the flat into the wintery night's rain. Trying desperately to maintain her composure, she was eternally grateful that it happened to be one night when her flat mate was actually awake later than her.

 They got to the emergency room and waited behind one other person in line Not much of an emergency scene, it never really is, but it seemed to be a quiet night. The overweight guy in front of the queue couldn't form two words together in a sentence and as she stood there patiently, she felt as though she might as well just faint right there and then for some impatient immediate attention. Luckily, they had dealt with that guy the night before, with the same over dose of pain killers excuse, and quickly sorted him out of the way. Next in the queue and up at the counter, she told the nurse as she held out her arm that she thought she had been bitten by a spider. The woman just stared, in disbelief. After filling out some paper work details and being questioned about the bodily shaking, which included being completely dizzy, having the chills, being scared, and nearly about to faint - she was led back to one of the beds in the hospital's emergency quarters. Right across from her was the stoned fat guy who was rubbing his protruding belly while mixing up his story to every nurse and doctor about how many pills he over dosed on and next to her was a pilot who had a flight to catch but had just gotten off an 18 hour shift and fell asleep at the airport and the next thing he knew he was at the hospital, without even knowing which "friend" was waiting for him in the waiting room. They must hear and see all sorts of stories. "I've got a poisonous spider bite on my wrist!" she wanted to yell, but could only collapse back on the bed, shivering with chills, and trying desperately to be an adult by not crying.

The doctors came - Australian McDreamy and McSteamy no doubt - and after some probing and questioning, they didn't have any answers to her pain or what caused the swelling hole that had turned into a deep, raw crater surrounded by a hot, red rash. They were ready to send her home with some pain killers and antihistamines. But she was not convinced; this is exactly why she didn't want to waste her time and exhausted energy coming to the hospital and there was not enough of a medical explanation to justify her pain. Fortunately, a nurse walked by to check out this infamous bite no one in the hospital could identify.  "Gross!" she yelped, then felt how hot the patients arms and body were. She took her temperature and again yelped when it beeped 39.2 C. Apparently that's hot. She ran off to the doctors who then came back and said they couldn't send her home with a fever like that. Duh. Why hadn't they checked before? Morons. Cute. But morons. More tests were done. Blood was drawn. Swab tests protruded. Blood pressure taken. More doctors. More nurses. More curiosities about the bite. No more conclusions. She was told she would have to stay over night, which made her feel somewhat comforted that they would look after her, but somewhat fraught over the fact that the mobile and wi fi device both had low batteries that would diminish any outside communication with concerned parents. To make matters worse, there was an overweight man snoring loudly across the way. Luckily, that's not where she would spend the night: a wheel chair was called and she moved to a quieter and darker dorm. She tuckered down, settling in for the night when another wheel chair was called and she was moved to a more private room. The nurses, hence far at Perth Royal Hospital, were tremendously nice and attentive - maybe it was a slow quiet night - but she relished in their attention and curiosity. After some repetitive paper-work questions, she was hooked up again to some anti-histamine drips and settled into an exhausted and drug-induced sleep only woken a couple times by switching liquid bags and the other patients' noises - one had a very weak bladder that demanded Immediate attention. The deep deep sleep was surprisingly comfortable, only cautious not to move the fractured-like wrist or the other arm with the needles taped into it. 

"breakfast"

Breakfast and more pain killers woke her up at 7.30am. The "vegetarian" diet meant that breakfast was two slices of plain toast, some porridge (typical hospital-style as you could imagine), hot water for the choice of packaged coffee or a tea bag, a mini carton of milk, and a processed OJ. What was vegetarian about it compared to what the other patients got, who knows. What was anything about it, except for reinforcing the terrible reputation of what hospital food is, who knows. Her attention towards the food lasted only a matter of bites. The mobile battery was blinking a near shut-down, while the wi fi device was already completely dead. She had nothing else to do but fall back asleep, and happy to do so.

 The hospital seemed busy and the day staff were new. She was told by some new doctors that she would probably be kept until after lunch to ensure that the high temperature had gone down. So she waited. More pain killers. More bag switches. More sleeping. New patients came in and out of the room. Lunch came. The "vegetarian" lunch was ravioli with some MSG-thickened sauce, frozen Brussels sprouts and carrot coins cooked to mush to uphold their reputation, a sugary yogurt, and a slice of white bread. Seriously, you'd think in hospitals they'd know a thing or two about nutrition, healthy food, and helping people feel better through food. Before she passed out again, she had a fleeting thought that maybe she'd look into applying for a job to save the hospital's kitchen. Although she didn't expect anything else, nor had much of an appetite, she was disappointed.

"lunch"

 A new doctor came around with his interns to probe questions and take notes - Scrubs-like. The man across the way had difficultly standing up and the doctor told him he basically needed a new body. The Ukrainian woman next to her had the most high pitched voice that squealed her fright over dying to her patiently comforting daughter. The other woman in the room was in the hospital with an asthma attack, most likely caused by smoking 25+ cigarettes a day. The doctor then peered into her curtain and kept walking. Maybe spider bites don't warrant a doctor's visit. She felt like crying: she wanted the pain to go away but just wanted to go home. She wanted an explanation. She wanted a doctor's note to give to her work. She wanted her parents. She wanted her phone to have a charged battery. She felt like a loser when the nurses kept asking her if she had anyone to pick her up and bring her home: no, she doesn't. She buzzed for the nurse and complained that the doctor hadn't come to see her, even though she was told she could go home at 3 and it was now half an hour later. She missed the quiet hospital and attentive nurses from the night before who looked after and comforted her. The day nurse gave her a packet with some anti-histamines and paper work and offered no explanation for what caused the hospital visit, because she explained, the x-rays and swab tests take 24 hours to get results.

few days later, finally able to bend the wrist

She was surprised that the Australian hospital didn't have more experience with spider bites. Two of the nurses definitely claimed it to be the work of a white tailed spider and said, "luckily for you it dies after it bites someone - karma!" That wasn't comforting she thought, as that means there's a dead poisonous spider somewhere in her room?!

So that is the tale of the spider bite. It hurts. It's ironic. It's a funny story that a scar on my wrist left by the swollen crater will always remind me of Australia.

Shit Australians Say #8

"Is there anyone left in Ireland?" 

“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Unknown

PPPPerth.

I haven't written in a while and I make the excuse that I am just living an every day life with an urban routine that includes a part-time job, managing my leftover budget after paying rent, taking advantage of going out to experience all of Perth's offerings, and attempting to meet people to establish friendships and stories along the way. That doesn't mean that it isn't fun. It doesn't mean that it's boring. It's all part of the adventure. But, with that slowed-down version of what life has been, I have had a lot more time to reflect upon life in Australia and question what I am doing here. I've been applying to jobs in order to find new challenges. I evaluate what I accomplished in the day, in the week, that I couldn't do anywhere else in the world since I made a choice to come to the other side. I look for ways to learn, as in, my own search for "the best" spinach-ricotta pastry roll in the city. I daydream over what's next in my Australian adventure. I mull over whether or not I'm making the most of my time here. There is usually at least one part of the day when I'm walking down the street and have a moment where I smile and can't believe I am here but then the other day I woke up crying and couldn't explain why.  I was walking home one day, barefoot in Australian style, and was in love with the neighbourhood I was in. I texted Jess and said, you would love Perth, it's a lot like California. And she responded, well why don't you live in California - it's much closer. And I couldn't think of a reply except that, I like their accents better here. 

photo from amber rae

I was recently introduced to a a blog by Amber Rae who describes herself as "hell-bent on cultivating a world where human potential is not governed by what we’re told we can and cannot do, but rather by our highest intentions and inner gifts; and obsessed with unrealized potential and helping people claim the lives they are meant to live." Her blog posts and quotes rang exceptionally true to many of my recent thoughts. One post mentioned this article by Paul Graham called Cities and Ambition. 

And hence, from these two, come my latest and greatest blog post about my own life's brooding musings. 

Paul Graham proposes that each city sends a message which attract people who aspire to that same message:

"New York tells you, above all: you should make more money.

What I like about Boston (or rather Cambridge) is that the message there is: you should be smarter.

As much as they respect brains in Silicon Valley, the message the Valley sends is: you should be more powerful.

The message Berkeley sends is: you should live better.

The big thing in LA seems to be fame.

 In DC the message seems to be that the most important thing is who you know.

in London you can still (barely) hear the message that one should be more aristocratic."

I actually smiled when I read this article because I knew immediately how to relate it to Perth. Whenever I am asked, I always say I like Perth a lot. Why, they inquire. Because it has a lot of potential, I respond. I elaborate that I like how Perth isn't touristy - there are a lot of foreigners, but they all live here. There aren't really many touristy sites....the Bell Tower? Along with that, and the fact that it is so far away from everywhere else, makes Perth feel as though it's your own personal best kept secret; you have it to yourself to mould it into its potential. The messages that Paul Graham associate with these cities ring true as cities are merely collections of people with like-minds. To link that idea to what I'm doing in Perth therefore makes sense. Like Perth, I believe that I have a lot of potential to be, and do, something great, and Perth is currently my stepping stone along my life-path's direction. Me, and all the other foreigners who left home and came to Perth to figure it out. 

"No matter how determined you are, it's hard not to be influenced by the people around you. It's not so much that you do whatever a city expects of you, but that you get discouraged when no one around you cares about the same things you do." - Paul Graham

With it's potential, I think Perth must have some sort of interesting food scene, or at least I think it should (maybe that's why I haven't found it yet.) I feel like there's something missing that I haven't caught on to yet, but I'm constantly looking for it as I feel it is well suited for Perth (re: potential). Maybe the answer is me. Maybe I should start it rather than seek it out where it doesn't exist. If I truly believe I am capable of this so-called potential, then what am I doing about it? Paul Graham says that, as determined as you are to make a city work for you, to find your niche within it, you most likely won't find it or will have a hard time building it into the city. He wanted Cambridge, but couldn't find it in NYC. 

I don't mean to sound contradictory, saying that you can't build your own niche within a city of a determined message, while saying that I am looking for it in Perth and maybe it's up to me to create it. What (I think) I mean to say is that, Perth's potential makes me want to stay here. I have a flat here, a crappy job, I have friends. I want to have a life, and that daunting yet promising future may actually involve leaving to another city and starting all over again. Maybe it's an excuse, but it is safer, more comfortable, and easier to stay than leave.  I haven't been to the east yet, but everyone says Perth is at least 10 years behind it - probably the reason why there is so much room for its budding potential. I often feel as though I am racing against a clock in the opposite way of Perth. Instead of catching up with time, I wish I wasn't as old as I am - even though age is just a number - but wish that I had more time to do all the things I want to. I definitely don't regret any of my past choices or experiences along the way, but I just don't know how I am supposed to fit in everything else in before I am really really OLD. I'm torn therefore, between fitting everything into this ticking clock - I can't believe I've been in Australia 6 months already - and staying in this comfortable way of life I've created for myself over here, on my very own. I won't know until I am in a new place, and hear it's message for myself. Maybe it will ring true, resonating all the right answers I'm looking for, or maybe it will just be silent; creating just another step along the way. 

Paul Graham says he moved to Florence thinking that it would be the art centre of the world that he was looking for, only to find out he was 450 years too late. Maybe I'm too early for Perth. Maybe Perth's potential and my potential are waiting to coincide at the right moment. Maybe I keep traveling and living all over the world because I am looking for the resonating message who's city (or farm?) is filled with the right like-minded people who will help me aspire to my own potential's greatness. Everywhere along the way has led me here, and has helped shape not only who I am, but the world I am looking for. Because I do not know what that is exactly, I take life as series of adventures, of different stages where I'm learning and living through experiencing. Before I left for Italy, mum asked me if I were to get married right then, who would be my bridesmaids. When I returned from Italy a year later, she asked me the same question and the answer had changed. Some people come in and out of our lives for a reason. They all matter. They're all connecting pieces of the puzzle. They're all part of the process that move us forward. Who knows what's next?! I'm excited to find out. In the mean time, I will take full advantage of the ticking time to realise all of Perth's potential probably* until November, when the comfort of my flat's lease is up and the weather is better in the rest of Australia (because Australia is all sunshine, beaches, and hot surfers right?)

*...I was invited up to Darwin next week, and I am tempted to say yes, to grab the spur of the moment adventure and just go with it. Even though I cannot afford it, it would be fun. 


Thank you Reena. 

Shit Australians Say #8

To me at work: "Where's your accent from? Canada?"