Home.

One of the most frequently asked questions while living abroad is "where are you from?" For some incomprehensible reason, my answer is always long and awkward. I stumble something like, "well, I was born in Connecticut, but I moved here from New Hampshire, but I only lived there for a year so it's not really where I'm from, and I lived in New York for two years after University and my family no longer lives in Connecticut so that's no longer home, but my family is actually from Ireland." (to anyone who doesn't know me, I much prefer to be considered Irish than American and will never forgive my parents for moving 3 years too early. To anyone who does know me, no offense.) Connecticut, to anyone who knows it, gives off a certain stereotype (yes, a professor here once responded with a disappointing "Oh.") and to anyone who doesn't know it, like most Italians, it means absolutely nothing as to where I'm from. Long and Awkward. So, generally, I say, home is in Colorno. It's not where I'm from-from, but home is where the heart is, right? 

 I do miss this view.

So, saying that....I was really anxious to go "home" for the winter holidays after classes ended. I hadn't gone home for summer holidays like most students and wasn't sure what to expect after being away on a different continent, in a different culture, with different friends, experiencing a different lifestyle, in a different time zone for so long. I was so adamant about staying in Europe after graduation that I was scared if I went back and saw all my friends and was close with my family every day that I wouldn't want to come back. I was scared that I would go back and the whole year would be forgotten, far away, and feel like only a dream I longed to fall back asleep to. But surely enough, the day came and suddenly I found myself at the airport (only so so lucky to get out on time that morning before the snow closed all the airports in Europe) and suddenly I was back in America. My parents split their time between NYC and NH and I didn't know where I wanted to spend more time. I had only spent a little over a year in Portsmouth, but fell in love with it and the people there. I didn't know if I would want to leave again. In NYC, while I was away, most of my best friends had met and started dating seriously, gotten engaged, and were on their way up the big city's ladder. That lifestyle is way beyond me and I was nervous about not having anything in common. My sister had moved in to the city while I was away and I also had never been to my parents new place in NYC,  so going to that "home" would be weird and unfamiliar. However, despite all these fears and anticipations, going "home" was absolutely fabulous. In Portsmouth, I knew nothing would have changed, and it didn't. I loved seeing everyone, going back to Cava, going out like always, and in the end, I got it out of my system. I still love it, but I can't stay there. In New York, it was so great to see all my friends and although their lifestyles are different than mine right now, we are still the same and it was as though nothing had changed - just more to catch up on in person. I loved being with my family every day and being able to spend so much time with them. I caught up with my brother and his fiance on wedding plans - even though I am quite far for the planning and the parties - and my sister, all real-life grown-up, is so lucky to have my parents in the city with her. I like being able to picture their lives in the City, to feel a part of it when they talk about it now, and not only see what Skype has to offer.

Christmas in Portsmouth

 Big Snow Storm in NYC

My lil' angelic Jesspoo

NYE in NYC

Even if we spent Christmas in Ireland and I never left European soil, I know I would have been happy to spend it with my family. But I am grateful for the chance to go back and see my friends and family, both in Portsmouth and Manhattan, and to be a part of their lives again. Home can be anywhere you want it to be, where you're happy. Even though I'm pretty damn happy wherever I am, I am happy to be back in Colorno - at least for another two months :)

Who knows where my next home will be after graduation in March (the world is ending anyways, right Jess?) but how could I not miss being a part of this? xo