'Tis the Season in Sydney.

Sometimes promises have to be broken for something bigger; something more close to home. Sometimes you don't have a choice in agreeing to a promise. Sometimes when you hesitantly make a promise, you know in your heart of heart it's not going to happen. It wasn't feasible, possible, logistical, rational, defensible or even financially-responsible to stay in Australia for a promise. I couldn't bear to break it, I felt terrible, but I knew that I had to do it. Sometimes you have to make your own decisions, hopefully with good intentions, even if they hurt people knowing absolutely that that part is not part of the main objective. Even when it appears to be selfish, there's always another side to the story that might not be regarded, that could be for the greater good if you take the time to consider it. 

As it turned out, I wasn't flying out of Brisbane. When flying out of Brisbane I had to connect in Sydney anyways. And as it turned out, both my parents and I thought I would be returning to Sydney for Christmas so I had left a bag of things there I didn't need for traveling and they had mailed some Christmas presents for me. So, I had to go back no matter what. Because of my broken promise, I booked to spend two nights in Sydney to make up for it. But I don't think it was enough. Things were miscommunicated, plans were not met, and words were said. Instead, I spent most of my time wandering around Sydney as I had wanted to explore it on my own, with one last goodbye, and one last attempt of Christmas shopping before it would become Duty Free. All I could think of was going home, getting on the plane as fast as possible, seeing my parents and surprising Jess. As much as I didn't want to leave Australia, or say goodbye to the friends I had met, I just wanted to be home. 

Michal Comes to Brisbane.

Michal comes to Brisbane! Michal comes to Brisbane! 

I said earlier, third time's a charm in Brisbane.

Carly: Does your friend have a place to stay yet? She is more than welcome to stay here.
Me: Really? That's so nice, I'll ask her.
Carly: Yeah no problem, you can choose who you want to sleep next to you on the pull-out.
Me: OoOh Really?!

Michal just couldn't not come to Brisbane. It was destined for us to meet up one last time again in Australia. From the very first city of my travels, to the very last. Carly had also finally heard back from one of the hairdressers she had sent her CV to and asked to come in for an interview, so we had more than one reason to treat ourselves out to dinner. We went down the road in Woolongabba to Chalk Hotel, which after walking into and up to the upstairs dining area and bar I realised I had been there before when I visited Ted and his friends in October. It was an odd realisation to be in an area I currently knew so familiarly but remember arriving to the same place in a taxi, thinking it was in the middle of nowhere Brisbane, a place I could never find again or would never see again - but here it was. It happened to be a burger + Jug dinner deal and trivia night. It definitely wasn't the $19 special or the burger that won us over, but the jug sealed the deal.

I don't think any of us actually grasped the concept of having a jug of beer to ourselves as we placed our orders. It was the biggest meal I had eaten in ages. And we didn't win trivia. We didn't even come close. But it was a lot of fun.

An English, two Scottish, and an Irish walk into a loud, dark bar....all we need is a Welsh and the jibber jabber confusion of accents that make up our conversation, or what we think is a conversation, would be complete. 

 case in point: Wild Hogs in Scottish sounds exactly like Whale Talks. Like that is even the name of a movie. But it is what I heard, and what I wrote down diligently, nodding my head convincingly as Jonny so confidently proclaimed the name of the movie to answer the trivia question. If only Dory was there to translate.

Angle Triangle also got us a point. 

Earlier that day, I had run into Inken randomly again on the exact same corner of Elizabeth and Edward Street in Brisbane as we were crossing the street heading in opposite directions both times. The second time, with Lovina, they told me they were leaving their jobs at the call centre to move to the Outback to work at a hostel. It happened to be their last night in the big city of Brisbane, in urban civilisation, so they were going out. I promised them I would meet them out for one last good bye, one last separation from Team Horsefly. Throughout all of our Australian travels, this would be the last until we all meet up again in another foreign country. So, Michal and I sauntered into town in the dark along the river with the city lights reflecting in the calm water. We chatted without reserve, catching up on all we hadn't emailed about. It was like we hadn't been apart since Surfers Paradise a month ago.

Brisbane doesn't have a big night life scene and as we arrived into the quiet streets, we were lead to what seemed to be the only bar open. As it was the only bar open in town, it was absolutely packed.

Met up with Chris again. But, what's with that guy's shirt?

Michal and I devised a plan to split up to each end of the bar and see who could be served first in the sea of thirsty backpackers, crammed like sardines up against the bar as shoulders snuggly still found room to strut to the music. Without knowing it, Michal and I were both served and we both had the idea to buy two rounds as to not have to get crushed into the ardent crowd again. Brilliant, we are.

Bitch, please. 

Being the busiest bar in Brisbane that night, and as it happens regularly in Australia, Chris was also there. So it was Byron Bay, Fraser Island, and Whitsundays all together in Brisbane for one last goodbye.

Reunited. With some goober (not Chris). 

The following day, Michal and I were left by the busy worker bees to enjoy the sun. We wandered hungrily along Grey Street, unsure of what type of food would satisfy insatiable us. I couldn't stop thinking about noodles and we agreed on a little Japanese place with outdoor seating along the sidewalk that advertised agreeably cheap prices. We sat down outside with a menu until I realised the price for the same exact thing was $4 dearer than what was on the sign. It looked like the same restaurant, the staff seemed to be working at both, the food was similar if not the same, but we couldn't figure out why the prices were different. Being the cheap, fastidious backpacker, I refused to pay more for what we had thought we were committing to. For $4 less, we just moved two tables down, with the same sidewalk views, had a limited food selection instead of the menu-book, and just had to order at the counter instead of being served table-side. This is what happens when you're on a budget, you only see prices and demand the most bang for your buck. Sure I could have had my usual piece of toast and cheese and Michal could have had her cup o'soup diet, but please, this was Michal and Shauna reunited for one last time in Australia.

I could have easily and happily had a second bowl of noodles if we weren't heading over to the lagoon to sunbathe.

 

fake lagoon.

One last sunbathe to soak up the Australian sun before it would freeze off in the Irish winter winds. One last sunbathe meant one last burn and a blistered sunburnt lip. 

When we couldn't see our sun damage - sunglasses on or off - we decided we would buy dinner for C & J as a thank you for letting us stay with them. We had talked about having a big BBQ as a bon voyage but most of the people I knew in the city had left by then so it was just the four of us, with Reginald in his tweed looking after our cold beers in the pool, our forkless salad, and kangaroo burgers.

When in doubt, the pool can also be a refrigerator. Just don't leave the guests unattended.

No diving, Carly. 

I felt so lucky to have such good friends to laugh with and friends from around the world who I met around Australia who were now friends with each other.

Michael, Joan, Carlos, and Shaun. 

I didn't want to say goodbye. I had met Michal towards the beginning of my trip, and here she was towards the end. Even if we hadn't traveled the same trip together, she was always there. She was like the boyfriend you keep because it's safe, the one you stay together with so you don't have to be completely alone. Like the high school boyfriend you don't break up with when you go off to Uni until you have securely found your place with your new friends...and a new boyfriend. The one that even if you're not together, you know he's only a phone call away, there to text whenever, or to talk to when you go home at night. Even when I didn't have that boyfriend anymore, and was traveling utterly alone, Michal was still there. Michal was always a phone call, a text, an email, a Facebook message away reassuringly telling me that I would love the Fraser Island trip and Whitsunday sailing, giving me suggestions of places she had previously been to as I arrived in a new place alone, sharing with me her own solo escapades as we ventured in opposite directions amongst the country, but then somehow managing to make plans with each other to meet up again. I hope she stays in her beloved Sydney, I hope she still gets to travel the rest of the world despite her love for Sydney, I hope she moves to London to live near me. I hope she even gives sake another chance. I know we'll stay in touch. I know we'll see each other again. Somewhere in this world. With a glass, no a bottle of wine, to catch up and laugh until we have stitches or pee ourselves. 

Dear Australia,

I really like you. I like you a lot.

Love, Shauna

It all happened so fast. At one point while in Mission Beach, alone and far away, an idea sprouted and I planted it in Dad's head, but displaced it in the back of my mind to slowly germinate. I felt a bit lost, broke, and exhausted from traveling. I was at a point, again, where I wasn't sure which direction of life I was heading towards and any decision could waver the compass' arrow.* I just had a little over a month left in sunny Australia before my visa was up and I thought about just giving in and going home. All the decisions and options of what to do with the remainder of my time could easily be dissipated and solved if I just left them all behind and went home. Home, you may ask, is where? My flight back was booked on miles and Dad checked to see if they could be changed. The only options he could find were to fly either on Christmas back to America, when my family would be in Ireland, or on the 8th of January which wouldn't make any sense to leave just a week early. So, the idea to leave evaporated into the humid heat of northern Queensland and I continued making plans to get back to Brisbane and find a job. 
After dismissing all regional work, finally deciding I didn't want to spend the rest of my time here working towards a second year that I wasn't even sure I wanted to return for, I was set on finding a holiday job. I was flying out of Brisbane, I had friends that were there, it was close to the Gold Coast...it just made sense to go to Brisbane. The only hitch was that I had promised to be in Sydney for Christmas and had made plans for New Years Eve there too. So, technically I had two weeks to work in Brisbane, a week in Sydney, then another 2 weeks of work in Brisbane. Who would hire me for that amount of time - even if I lied about how much time I had there? Sydney was too expensive that I barely gave two thoughts about looking for a place to stay and a job there. 

I didn't think it would be hard to find a job, given most places usually hire extra staff around the holiday season, but I couldn't find any job. I didn't even get any responses back. There were no appropriate jobs posted on seek or indeed or gumtree. I blindly wrote to places of interest, in hopes that they might like my resume or just need some extra help. I wrote to all the Irish pubs in the city - just to confuse them with my wonky accent. I printed out my resume and went around to all the hostels to ask if they were hiring. Everyone said, come back in the new year. I had a place to stay for free (I paid rent with tree-building beer cans) but I couldn't justify staying in Australia for a month, just for the sake of seeing out the rest of my visa, if I wasn't working and I was done with traveling. So the idea that was already planted in Dad's head and buried in the back of my head, began to flourish. It was hard to cancel New Years Eve plans and to think about not only leaving my friends, but the sunshine warmth of summer and to finally leave behind the entire year that was my Australian Adventure. But, once the idea developed into a realisation that I could spend Christmas with my family in Ireland, I was all set and started to check out. The fact that I could pull of a surprise and not tell Jess I was coming made it all the more exciting. Once I realised all this, I went back to happy holiday mode and decided to just enjoy and take advantage of the rest of my time in Australia, trying not to spend the dim remainder of my money, and to soak up as much sun as possible. I think also the fact that I was going to Donegal rather than flying back to America made leaving somewhat more ok. It wouldn't be easy to leave, but I was actually really really excited. 

* I think I should buy a Magic 8 ball as my indecisive compass. 

When it Rains, it Pours.

Carly and I tried desperately to go Christmas shopping in Brisbane. Desperately I mean because we bought nothing and because it was in the pouring rain, but we persevered. We walked for about half an hour in the rain until we got into the centre of the city, completely drenched, but unwavered. We wandered in and out of the shops before we decided we would be better off purchasing a drink. So we got out of the rain and sat down with the workers, who weren't working because it was raining (!??!) and enjoyed ourselves. Just as we were leaving, even though the sky was bright, it was heavily downpouring. We sighed and said, you know what happens when it rains? You get wet. 

Bar artwork.

It's really hard to feel like it's Christmas or get in the holiday spirit when it is sunny, 30 degrees CELCIUS, and feels like you are on a summer holiday. The tourist shops offering Australia memorabilia are filled with crap no one really wants. Most of the stores in the shopping arcades are over priced and the rest of them can be found at home. There aren't any Australian trends or anything particularly "Australian" to bring back as gifts. I found it incredibly difficult to not only to get in the mood but to find any motivation for buying worthwhile gifts. I sent some knick-knacks to Ireland to say, I'm thinking of you, wish I was there, I have some more time to buy you some proper gifts ie in the after-Christmas sales, but that mentality soon changed. I always thought that I didn't care where I was for Christmas as long as I was on the beach with a cocktail. But after traveling up the coast for a month and seeing beach after beach, I was over the beach idea. I wanted to go home. Home? I don't know where home is. I wanted to be with my family. 

It Took Me Only 2 Hours to Fly From Cairns Back Down The Coast It Took Me 28 Days To Get Up To.

Leaving Cairns, I am really happy. It's just a 2 hour plane ride back to where I (kinda) started a month ago. I'm absolutely delighted with the trip I've just had up the coast, as with the entire past eleven months in Australia.  I honestly can't believe it, but it feels a bit as though my time in this country is done, even though I still have a little over a month left here. Although I don't want to leave, especially leave the down-under weather, I feel as though the year can be completed whole-heartedly contently. I know I said before that if I could do it again, I would have done everything differently, but regret none of it. Knowing that now is all part of the traveling adventure and self enlightenment.

I have experienced a tremendous amount; I have seen iconic and stunning places; I have endured and persevered, emotionally and physically; I have grown up; I have made necessary sacrifices and worthy splurges; I have been blessed with the utmost kindest generosity and welcoming hospitableness; I have more confidence and am not only more comfortable with myself, but proud of what I've done to get there; I am still as indecisive but maybe a bit wiser; I have learnt things about myself, other people, other places and cultures and how to travel; I have seen places I have wanted to check off an invisible list of places to see, but realised that it is all about the people you are with who make the memories you will remember about the place; I have eternally grateful, appreciative, and indebted for having all these opportunities; I have met so many incredibly wonderful people that I truly feel grateful to have in my life and make me want to continue to travel - not only for the thrill of meeting new friends, but to travel to where these new friends are now to meet up again; and most importantly, I have fulfilled my 3rd grade dream. All of this with no plan except a one way ticket. The year at UNISG might still be my favourite, but this past year has been solidly the best one for me personally. It makes me excited and want to travel more, to see more of the world, to meet new people and visit friends around the world, and test more of myself in new situations to see how it will mould me into who I am supposed to be.

Since I know my time is coming to an end here with just a few weeks to enjoy the warmth of summer and spend the remaining time with my friends, I think I have nearly checked-out. When you know something is within your grasp, even if you don't want to leave, you start to look towards the future, to what's next, and get excited to go home to bask in the little things that have become luxuries to the backpacker. Despite everything I just mentioned from the last year here that I am going to honestly miss, and even though I still don't know where home is, I cannot wait to see my family.

So, as I fly over the Great Barrier Reef again (not as cool as my Whitsunday trip, but still really amazing to see from so high up) with my window seat overlooking the same coast I just traveled by ground up, it feels like the perfect ending.

Mission Beach. (and life decisions)

After my desired plane ride over the Whitsunday Islands and the Great Barrier Reef, it was literally onwards and upwards - this time, unfortunately past Magnetic Island - but onto Mission Beach. Mission Beach is one of those places you hear about now and again as a popular stop along the coast. Mainly, it is famous for tourists to skydive: jump out of an airplane over the GBR and land directly onto Mission Beach. Although it would have been a stunning experience, I have already skydived and had to save my money for other travels expenses. I was heading to Mission Beach because I wanted an opportunity to WWOOF again and I had found a hydroponic farm along Mission Beach that sounded right up my alley in terms of what I wanted to learn about growing vegetables and herbs - a learning experience in the tropical rain forest for my future Irish farm, no doubt. Makes sense. On the 8 hour bus ride up to Mission Beach from Airlie Beach, northern Queensland is absolutely breath-taking - and this is just the views from the side of the road from a bus window. We were surrounded by cascading mountains, tall grasses, wild palm trees and eucalyptus trees, lush vegetation, fertile fields of purposely planted produce I couldn't even identify but imagined mangos, avocados, bananas and aloe vera, and the sense of the intoxicating aquamarine ocean was just beyond reach. Going further north and into the rampant rain forest, I really felt as though I was finally far away - far away from civilisation and far away from home. Even when in the middle of Western Australia, I never actually felt so in the middle of nowhere. I felt as though, maybe I had come too far, that it was time to go back. I knew I had to be back all the way south in Sydney in a month for Christmas and I wasn't quite sure how I would get there.
Upon arriving in Wongoling Beach, one of the villages along Mission Beach where my hostel was, there was nothing in the near vicinity besides a little shopping arcade with a closed news agent, an over priced Thai restaurant (over priced for the mere backpacker, but boy did it look scrumptious) and a Woolies.
So, I walked to the beach hoping to get a glimpse at the pastel sunset. As I was about to set out upon my stroll, a guy came running over to me yelling at me to watch out. He said I had to stand back or else the descending sky divers might knock me out, breaking bones or even killing me. So, I stayed back and watched the landing show. One actually did come quite close to me as I ran back into the prickly vegetation on the edge of the sand, but I smiled as they all screamed with joy at their survival. The beach was pretty empty, and it felt weird to feel alone for once. Alone and far away. Even traveling by myself for the last couple weeks, I hadn't actually felt very alone. Being alone is nice, even necessary sometimes, as long as you don't take it for loneliness. Everyone needs to have their own space, but a quote I learned along the way, "happiness is only true when shared" popped into my head. As much as I have grown comfortable with myself since traveling solo and relished in my own time, it would be nice to share these experiences with someone (oh, hello Blog). But, I had grown a bit tired of traveling; I had no desire to talk to any new people in the hostel and needed to figure out my own life before I could invite anyone new into it.

 To be honest, as I sat there on the sand and staring off into the vast ocean, thinking about my travels and all the beautiful places along the coast I had seen, with the sunset symbolically closing the day with my own ending introspection, I still thought: Killyhooey is still my favourite beach.

Mission Beach to me, since I wasn't doing the sky dive, was a quiet stop off where I did not do much, but contemplate back and forth (times a hundred million) what to do with my remaining time here in Australia. I was looking forward to some of the nature "things" Mission Bach offered, like a walk in the rain forrest, a day trip to Dunk Island, a Cassowary conservation site (what is that? it's like an emu) and Sunday morning markets.

But the following day it absolutely poured with unbareably high humidity - the kind of heat that you want to sleep completely naked, not even a thin sheet to cover your feet, despite the fact that you are in a hostel with 7 other people in the room. It was the start of the rainy season and I had to decide if I wanted to stay up here for another month, in the rain, and the curly-hair-humidity to do my remaining farm work. If I got my second year visa, it would be really, another year of living abroad. Another year of fabulous weather, meeting new people, and picture-perfect places. It would be nice to have it as an option, a bit of a shame not to take advantage, but I could always come back on a tourist visa.  I've met so many people here who were just on holiday, whereas I always thought Australia was too far away to do that. People actually go on holidays rather than moving to unknown places without a plan!!!  This year of mine, without a plan, here in Australia....I don't even know how to put into words. I do know that looking back, I would have done everything differently, but I regret nothing. It was an experience. It was my Australian Adventure. A year was exactly what I needed and now I want to create a real life. I can honestly say that I have grown up, that I am more comfortable with myself, and have heaps more confidence. I absolutely adored and appreciated the opportunities I had, the experiences while traveling by myself, the friends that I met along the way - some who I hope to keep in contact with and see again in the near future - and yes, can check off these places on my places to see.

So, back to my indecisiveness - which I still have to work on - I made a plan. I weighed all my options, over a couple hours, checking out prices for buses and flights and which combination of travel was the cheapest and most convienent and searched for some inner confidence to comfort me in knowing whichever decision I was going to make was going to be the right one. I was to leave Mission Beach earlier than planned (missed out on getting my 3rd night's refund back) and go up to Cairns to not only check it out, but to fly from there back to Brisbane. I had another WWOOF opportunity down there, who seemed pretty eager to have me run their Community Garden at this swanky mountain top resort, but something about it didn't feel right and Brisbane also was where I had a few friends I could meet up with again. I was flying out of Brisbane in a couple weeks anyways so I thought it would be best to look for a job there to earn some money to pay back for all this traveling. I had a plan, I was going to stick with it, and I was going to feel good about it. 

This is what flying over the Great Barrier Reef looks like from 2,000 ft in a plane.

One Happy Shauna and A Flight Over the Whitsundays and Great Barrier Reef.

One of the best things about traveling the eastern Australian coast is talking to people about their travels and your own. The people you meet are either heading north or south. It is one of the first questions asked, after "where are you from....are you going up or down?" You want to hear that people are going in the same direction as you so that you can make friends to travel with along the way, but at the same time, when they are heading in the opposite direction, they can offer advice on what they've done and recommend what you should do. I had only booked Fraser Island and the Whitsundays with a travel agent. Everything else, every hostel, every bus ride was just done when I felt like it and when I needed to move on, on my own time.  One of the trips that I had repeatedly heard was worthwhile and I had seen spectacular pictures of, was a plane ride over the Whitsunday Islands and the Great Barrier Reef. It was in the back of my head when I arrived in Airlie Beach and saw the posters advertised in the various travel agents around town, but I never thought it would be something I would actually do. The more I thought about it after sailing around the Whitsundays and hanging out in Airlie Beach, I couldn't help but think, or justify, it's now or never. It was something I wouldn't normally sign up for, like some gimmicky tourist excursion, however I wandered into one of the travel agents to inquire and she basically said, after the boat trip, the plane ride over not only puts its all into perspective, but is the cherry on top. There were three possible plane trips, but only one that flew over the Great Barrier Reef as well. If you're going to go, you might as well go all out. It was a splurge I couldn't really afford to make, but from what I had heard from others who had gone, and others reconfirming that you only live once, I knew that it would be worthwhile. 

Of all the other trips and places I had visited, I was excited for sure. I knew that I wanted to see these places, to check them off. Maybe a little more anxious than realising that I was excited to be doing overnight trips and booking into hostels by myself and not knowing who I would meet, but for this trip, maybe because it was just an hour, and especially because it was something I was doing on my own, I was genuinely giddy. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of the trip. My stomach was in my throat and my knees were bouncing. I honestly felt like a little kid.  A little kid going on a big adventure. 

I was picked up in a van of 10 people who were brought to the little airport. We all "checked-in" and paid the remaining deposit and were split amongst 2 planes. 6 of us were in my plane. There was another solo girl and 2 couples. After our safety lecture, I was hoping I could sit in the front of the plane, but the pilot told me to get in the back. I wasn't disappointed though because I had two seats to myself which meant I had easy viewing access to both sides of the plane and no one to lean over, or no propellers in front of me. IT WAS AWESOME. I absolutely loved every minute of it for the entire hour. So, this post is mostly pictures because I went a little snap-happy, obviously, trying to capture everything that I saw. I wanted to share it. Of course, pictures cannot do any justice whatsoever. You will have to go for yourself! 

the little plane we were going to squeeze into.

In the back of the little plane.

I'm so awkward. But oh so happy.

The plane took off, and it literally felt as though any gust of wind would blow us over, tumbling down to the ground. It was shaky, it was bumpy, and it was not for the claustrophobic. But if this is how I would die, or be eaten by a shark as we crashed into the ocean, then that would be ok.

There were big islands and little islands that conjured up images and desires to be stranded, maybe for just a couple days or even a few hours and create your own little paradise.

We drove past the golf course on Dent Island that is part of the Hamilton Island Resort. I thought about Dad and how much he would probably love a round of golf there! 

Hamilton Island is one of the 5 islands that have resorts. It is one of the most popular.

We flew over White Haven Beach where we went with PowerPlay.

Because it was low tide and the water from the inland was being mixed with the ocean water, it created a swirling effect. 

It really looks like this. Even better.

Those boats to the right are anchored where we got off to go to the look-out and down to White Haven Beach to the left.

So.Damn.Cool.

After we left the Whitsunday Islands, it took about 10 minutes to fly to the start of the Great Barrier Reef, a flight that would have taken about 2 and a half hours by boat.

This is some of the algae that's floating around.

We passed another plane.

The start of the Great Barrier Reef. It is the largest thing built by living creatures: billions of corals. 

The view of the Great Barrier Reef as we approach it in the plane.

My on-sale camera isn't even that good. I saw some of the shots on the camera screen from the couple in front of me that were crystal clear, but you know what, these will just have to do! It's all about the memory and the experience!

This one looks like a grumpy face.

The little one in the middle, shaped like a heart, is called Heart Reef. It is the most postcard-ed picture I think.

Heart Reef.

Flying 2,000 feet above.

I even saw some ray's...manta or sting...

The plane flew back over Heart Reef again so the other side of the plane could see it. 

And again, zooming by, saying good-bye.

Would be absolutely fascinating to go snorkelling/diving here.

so many colours and forms of life.

I am one happy flyer! 

The breaks along the edge of the reef mean that the reef is protected.

Airplane over coral.

Flying back towards the Whitsundays.

Deep blue sea.

Land Ho.

This is Hayman Island. One of the suits in this resort costs $6,000 a night. hmmmmmm...

We went snorkelling around here on the last day of the PowerPlay trip.

Back to Airlie Beach.

Thank you plane for the trip.

SO HAPPY!

Now, whenever anyone asks me for recommendations on what they should see when traveling up or down the coast, I will 100% say go on the flight. It's worth the splurge. x