What I Won't Miss About Perth.

This Bird.

This ugly boringly-black obnoxious annoyance of a speciman.

It has the most loud skrill of a cackle that makes it impossible, no matter how annoyed you are by it’s uttering noise, to not laugh at its absurdity. It will disturb you as you walk down the street. It will wake you up in the morning or prevent you from falling asleep at night - so loud, it is as if it is perched right outside your window, personally mocking you. We spent an afternoon laughing at them as they sat above us in the club house of a Perth golf club. They just sat there on the beams with their mouths wide open, drooling probably like idiots, their blank eyes unblinking, and squawking at each other. Although it could be my gift to Australia, we decided, and a personal gift of self-satisfaction to myself, if I wrote what I wanted to do to these nationally protected birds, I would probably be deported immediately.

But believe me, and I have recently learned, that there are many beautiful and fascinating birds in Australia. Penguins of course, gorgeous pelicans, ones that look like little colourful orange and brown turkeys, ones that fly across the road in front of the car with splashes of red across their wing span, others that are neon green, there are little ones that skip, black sparrows that glide, black swans which are the national bird of Australia, white cockatoos, ugly ravens that rank in the negative scale of an attractive rating, and many others I heard the names of that were pointed out to me that I cannot remember. 

I'm sure there are noisy birds in the wild countryside of Franklin, I have heard them already, but it has been hinted at that because of our remoteness, it is less likely that anyone will know if anything has happened to one of these "treasures." Guinea fowl are noisy. And edible.